I started chatting to my now ex, in a Yahoo chat room. At first I was attracted to his humour; and I was curious to get to know more of him. One thing led to another and we ended up going out on a date and being in a relationship for six years. So you might say that I had prior success with online dating. Since then, digital dating has expanded and now there are more online websites and dating apps. So as one person commented to me when I was doing some research, dating online increased the probability of you meeting your love match.
But what if you are not meeting your suitable match, but instead an unsuitable. Possibly even a Prince Harming. What about the dark side of online dating? I used e-harmony and got to chat to a few guys. I found it to be interesting and went out on a few dates. There was one guy who I met up with more than once but this was short lived, as I realized that I was still healing from my previous relationship.
It was really a rebound. I was not ready for love. In more ways than I thought. I soon realised that first, I would have to start a relationship, fall in love again, with myself. Several years later I approached online dating again. This was after I got into networking online more for both business and pleasure. I had reconnected with myself, rediscovered my self-love. Most importantly, I was ready for a relationship. Why did I start this approach to dating?
Simply on one level, I wasn't going out a lot, thus not opening up the opportunities. I thought I was a good communicator online. By this time my lifestyle blog SophiaWorld was up and running. I do confess that I did find this approach a little daunting, as I am a personable person. One who manages easily to connect in real life. I took the stance, "Why not be myself?
I like to put people at ease with my humour. Maybe it's to keep me at ease too. I can only be myself. But then I started to encounter a new behaviour, one that I did not experience last time. These were the men who initially start out charming, then focus on how "great" or "hot" you look. Then the conversation may continue offline, which will typically be via text or WhatsApp.
Everything is going okay until you realise that you are now in the middle of sexting [sex text messages]. To take a pause here, I don't mind chatting about desires. I have done the flirty texting, usually with people I know. But I found it off-putting when the mood shifted to "wham bam, I want you to be part of my sexual fantasy". I experienced one encounter where the guy came across as respectable. He was very much into wellness and self-development. He even boasted about the rewarding work he did with his clients. How he supported strong women.
But as the saying goes, appearances can be deceiving. Let's say he had a thing for submission and force. When I later shared this with my mother, her response was of shock and she said 'call the police'.
The Dark Side of OnLine Dating
Yes, a degree of caution is required. I obviously refused when I got into a situation that made me feel uncomfortable. I stood my ground and politely declined. Then there was a guy who wanted me to meet up with him in for one night, so that he could perform oral sex on me. This is one of the worst experiences of my life.
We exchanged numbers and started hanging out on weekends.
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She used to flirt with me every day and dropped me hints about her feelings for me. I was hopeful we would be in a relationship soon and I used to pamper her with gifts, take her on shipping sprees and vacations. After four months, she confessed that she considered me only a friend and I misunderstood her in the wrong way. When I asked her to return the money I had spent on her, she blocked me from everywhere. We continued the trip together and she proposed me for a long-distance relationship.
I said yes, and we returned to our respective cities. After a month, I specially travelled to her town to surprise my so-called girlfriend at her office. She yelled at me for arriving without informing and confessed she was dating someone else in her office. She talked to me about her business along with other topics we discussed. They tried to convince me to invest in their business during the entire meeting.
The Dark Side of OnLine Dating
When I complained that it was supposed to be a date, she clarified that she never liked me and it was a business meeting for her. I uninstalled my dating app that day. I chatted the girl for a few weeks and we decided to meet one day. Strangely, she proposed me for marriage and even expected me to talk to my family as soon as possible. I was taken aback for a few seconds and I asked her the reason why she fell in love with me.
She blatantly replied that she always wanted to settle abroad and we can fall in love after tying the knot. I matched with a good-looking, tall guy online and we decided to meet him after talking for a few hours. When I actually saw him, I could not recognise him.
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He had edited his photographs way too much and looked completely different. He had a paunch in reality but his photographs told a different story of a man who flaunted his six-pack abs! I left after talking for about 15 minutes. Select a City Close. Mumbai Mumbai search close. All Bombay Times print stories are available on.
We serve personalized stories based on the selected city OK. The Times of India. Things that make your lover insecure, as per the zodiac sign. Sorry ladies, Indian companies still prefer male candidates over you. The number of lovers you have depends on your mother, claims a study. Women prefer bearded men over clean-shaven ones: Do working longer hours impact your love life? Believe in something beautiful again.
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